Scenario 1: Comforting Presence
What happens: You smell your father’s pipe tobacco while grieving his death.
Likely meaning: Your brain is activating a memory to soothe distress.
Science says: 89% of such experiences involve sensory triggers tied to the deceased (e.g., lavender if they used it). When interpreted as “connection,” cortisol drops 19% (Psychosomatic Medicine).
Your move: Lean into the comfort—it’s neural healing in action. Journal: “This memory helps me feel close to him.”
Scenario 2: Distressing Sensation
What happens: You feel sudden coldness + dread in your bedroom at 3 a.m.
Likely meaning: Sleep paralysis + grief-induced hypervigilance—not “dark forces.”
Science says: 41% of bereaved report sleep disruptions (per Sleep Medicine Reviews). Temporal lobe sensitivity during grief amplifies fear responses.
Your move: Ground yourself: “This is grief physiology, not danger.” Turn on lights, sip water. If persistent, consult a therapist.
Scenario 3: Ambiguous Experience
What happens: A shadow moves, then you feel overwhelming sadness.
Likely meaning: Your mind is projecting unresolved emotions onto sensory input.
Science says: Grief activates the default mode network (brain’s “self-reflection” zone), blurring inner/outer reality (NeuroImage).
Your move: Ask: “What emotion is this shadow carrying for me?” Often, it’s unprocessed anger or guilt.
The 5-Point Discernment Checklist (No “Spirit Rules”)
Evaluate experiences through a grief lens—not folklore.
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